This picture basically sums up how I have been feeling as of late.
No need for explanation.
This is tea by the way. Not coffee.
I guess I'll explain it further.....
This week and last week, well, ever since I did the last proper blog post, I have been feeling like this cup.
Overflowing.
Can't possibly absorb anymore.
Completely full.
Now, this isn't the "Oh-God-has-blessed-me-abundantly-and-my-cup-overfloweths" kind of overflowing cup, but more of the "God-is-dealing-with-so-much-at-one-time-and-i-can't-possibly-process-anymore" kind of overflowing.
Apologies for all the dashes.
They help me think.
Don't get me wrong, God has abundantly blessed me. I'm living my dream for one example. I'm in this amazing city of Oxford, but who knew that living 'your dream' was so difficult?
Transformation hurts.
Birth of new vision hurts.
Good hurts.
I'll explain that last bit. In the college here, we all know what we mean when we say 'i'm good'. What we mean is not the "fluffy-everything-is-just-fine-and-dandy good" but more the "stretching-you-feel-like-you-might-snap-any-minute good".
(There are those dang dashes again!)
That is the good that hurts.
That is the good I'm living in.
That is the good I'm feeling overwhelmed by.
BUT, I choose to believe that although I'm being bombarded with information and knowledge and envisioning and re-igniting and empowering,
and I feel like I can't absorb all that I need to,
and I can't process all that is happening,
God will finish the work inside of me.
And in the years to come, I will still be drawing on stuff that I have learned in the few precious months I'm here.
No need for explanation.
This is tea by the way. Not coffee.
I guess I'll explain it further.....
This week and last week, well, ever since I did the last proper blog post, I have been feeling like this cup.
Overflowing.
Can't possibly absorb anymore.
Completely full.
Now, this isn't the "Oh-God-has-blessed-me-abundantly-and-my-cup-overfloweths" kind of overflowing cup, but more of the "God-is-dealing-with-so-much-at-one-time-and-i-can't-possibly-process-anymore" kind of overflowing.
Apologies for all the dashes.
They help me think.
Don't get me wrong, God has abundantly blessed me. I'm living my dream for one example. I'm in this amazing city of Oxford, but who knew that living 'your dream' was so difficult?
Transformation hurts.
Birth of new vision hurts.
Good hurts.
I'll explain that last bit. In the college here, we all know what we mean when we say 'i'm good'. What we mean is not the "fluffy-everything-is-just-fine-and-dandy good" but more the "stretching-you-feel-like-you-might-snap-any-minute good".
(There are those dang dashes again!)
That is the good that hurts.
That is the good I'm living in.
That is the good I'm feeling overwhelmed by.
BUT, I choose to believe that although I'm being bombarded with information and knowledge and envisioning and re-igniting and empowering,
and I feel like I can't absorb all that I need to,
and I can't process all that is happening,
God will finish the work inside of me.
And in the years to come, I will still be drawing on stuff that I have learned in the few precious months I'm here.
Yeah, I think I can speak for most when I say we're being stretched here, also. It's good. Good DOES hurt. Can't wait to see what God's done in your life!
ReplyDeleteThat is right, you are learning things in these days that will FOREVER change you, and you are learning how to process and embrace the process, staying teachable and moldable! These are some of the greatest qualities that we can have as true disciples of God, to be teachable and to be easily moldable by our Father. Embracing him as he stretches us, directs us, points things out in us, etc. The other day God showed me through your siblings, how there are different ways to react to his correction/direction/honesty with us. We can be like (I wont mention any names, but you know which ones they are) who get defensive, and try to justify everything when we try to correct them; they aren't wrong and if you would just listen, they would convince you why they are justified in doing whatever it was they are being corrected for, or we can be like your youngest sibling, who dilikes correction so much he sometimes will just cry bc he is being corrected. As adults that would be equivalent to us falling into condemnation, giving up bc we feel like we just can't do it good enough, depression, etc, or we can be like one of my kiddos who when corrected, for the most part her response is "Okay mom." No drama, no excuses, simply, "OK mom." Granted I know that sometimes she is just saying that so that I will stop talking and move on, but there are times when I really see her putting into practice what I said to her, and HE spoke to me and said, that is how I want you to respond when I show you something bc I do it for your best interest and for your good and because I LOVE YOU! Anyway, sorry for the babbling, but what you said reminded me of where I was earlier in the week last week. Keep pressing forward, arms wide open, embracing every moment of it bc He is there, loving you through every second of it!
ReplyDelete